How to Know When a Friend’s Mental Health Might Be in Trouble
I believe that being a good friend means being there for them during difficult times just as much as sharing in the fun ones. In truth, this reflects what it means to be a compassionate person in general. Helping a friend, loved one, colleague, or even an acquaintance who is struggling with their mental health is a meaningful act of kindness that can have a greater impact than you may realize. However, many people find it difficult to open up about their struggles. Being vulnerable in front of others can feel uncomfortable, and some may avoid sharing their problems out of fear of burdening those around them. When these emotions remain unaddressed, they can build up over time and lead to serious consequences such as unresolved trauma, emotional outbursts, strained relationships, or in more severe cases, substance use, self-harm, and suicidal thoughts. This blog post will highlight common warning signs that someone may be struggling with their mental health, helping you recognize when a person you care about might need support and how you can be there for them in meaningful ways.
Neglecting Self-Care
One of the earliest indicators that someone may be struggling with their mental health is that they stop taking care of themselves. You may notice someone starts to neglect personal hygiene, wear tattered clothing, or care little about their appearance. Individuals may also begin to disregard their health by eating irregularly, sleeping poorly, or avoiding physical activity. Hansen et al. (2015) found a strong correlation between self-neglect and depressive symptoms, suggesting that mental health challenges can significantly deplete a person’s motivation and energy, making even basic daily tasks feel overwhelming. In addition, people with mental health issues typically have a much lower sense of self-worth, leading individuals to view personal care as meaningless or undeserved. Town et al. (2023) further observed that inadequate self-care is closely associated with heightened levels of anxiety and depression, particularly among adolescents. They recommend incorporating small, accessible self-care practices such as brief exercise, meditation, or journaling in order to gradually restore emotional balance and improve overall well-being. Encouraging these simple, manageable habits can make a meaningful difference for someone who appears to be neglecting their own care.
Losing Interest in Hobbies
Another common sign of declining mental health is a noticeable loss of interest in activities a person once enjoyed. Someone who previously looked forward to playing sports, watching movies, or spending time outdoors may begin to withdraw from these activities without replacing them with new interests. Wang (2024) found that lower engagement in leisure activities predicted higher levels of depressive symptoms over time, creating a negative cycle in which worsening mood leads to further withdrawal. Similar to cases of self-neglect, poor mental health not only drains the body of energy and motivation but also alters how the brain perceives pleasure, making previously enjoyable hobbies feel meaningless or unrewarding. Watson et al. (2019) further emphasize that this loss of enjoyment reduces motivation to participate, as these activities no longer bring a sense of satisfaction. This decline can be particularly concerning, as it can make struggling people lose important coping mechanisms, limit the brain’s ability to experience pleasure, and intensify feelings of hopelessness when nothing seems enjoyable anymore. When you notice these changes in someone, it is important to check in with them, offer gentle encouragement to reengage in activities they once valued, or help them explore new, fulfilling hobbies that promote mental well-being during challenging times.
Self-Destructive Behaviour
If you notice that a friend or loved one is showing signs of self-destructive behavior, it may be a sign that they are struggling with their mental health. In more severe cases, this can involve drinking excessively, using drugs, or engaging in self-harm. However, self-destructive behaviors can also appear in more subtle ways. A person may stop cleaning their room, withdraw from others, or begin to damage their relationships. Research has shown that self-sabotaging patterns such as negative self-talk and social isolation are strong predictors of risky behaviors and increased suicidal risk (Polskaya & Vlasova, 2015; Kraus et al., 2024). Many people experiencing emotional distress lose motivation to care for themselves and begin to believe that doing so is meaningless, especially when they have a negative self-image. Others may turn to harmful coping methods such as substance use, self-harm, or constant partying, in an attempt to numb or distract themselves from emotional pain. Noticing these self-destructive behaviours and steering them towards getting better help or healthier coping mechanisms is key to preventing them from spiraling even further down a road where they completely destroy themselves.
When Negativity and Apathy Take Over
A behaviour you may notice when someone is feeling mentally low is when they begin to display negative or apathetic behaviors. Negative behaviors may include constant self-criticism and selfdeprecation, where individuals frequently put themselves down and express a poor sense of self-worth. They may also become irritable, often lashing out at others, blaming them for problems, or unintentionally sabotaging relationships. Apathetic behaviors can include neglecting responsibilities, showing indifference toward previously important goals or hobbies, and lacking motivation to complete even simple tasks. Individuals who consistently exhibit these patterns are more likely to develop depressive symptoms, as their persistent negative thoughts linger in their mind while they view almost no positive futures or outlooks on life. Mele et al. (2021) found that structured exercise and mindfulness activities, especially when combined with social support and personalized goals, can significantly improve mood and outlook. By promoting goal-directed behavior and social engagement, individuals can begin to shift their focus away from negativity and toward a more positive mindset.
What You Can Do When Someone You Know Shows These Signs
What’s important to understand about these warning signs is that they all involve noticeable shifts in behavior. If you see someone you care about acting differently, it never hurts to ask if something is on their mind. Letting them know you’ve noticed a change in them and checking in to see if they are okay not only shows that you care, but also gives them an opportunity to open up and seek support if something is bothering them. Rossetto et al. (2018) describe a multi-stage approach where a concerned person first recognizes the signs of distress, chooses how to intervene, offers the help you are able to provide, and follows up to ensure the person is coping in healthy ways. Their key recommendations include addressing the signs early, respecting the person’s feelings and boundaries, listening without judgment, offering support and helpful information, and encouraging professional assistance when needed. While not everyone has the expertise of a professional psychotherapist, we all have the ability to reach out and show support to the people in our lives. Never underestimate the power of kindness. Simply being the first to notice when someone is struggling and offering help can truly change their life.
References
Hansen, M. C., Flores, D. V., Coverdale, J., & Burnett, J. (2015). Correlates of depression in selfneglecting older adults: A cross-sectional study examining the role of alcohol abuse and pain in increasing vulnerability. Journal of Elder Abuse & Neglect, 28(1), 41–56.
https://doi.org/10.1080/08946566.2015.1136252
Kraus, S., Torres, J., & Batthyany, K. (2024). Predicting risk behaviors in adolescents through social isolation and negative Self-Talk. Journal of Adolescent and Youth Psychological Studies, 5(6), 156–164.
https://doi.org/10.61838/kman.jayps.5.6.17
Mele, B., Ismail, Z., Goodarzi, Z., Pringsheim, T., Lew, G., & Holroyd–Leduc, J. (2021). Nonpharmacologic interventions to treat apathy in Parkinson’s disease: A realist review. Clinical Parkinsonism & Related Disorders, 4, 100096.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.prdoa.2021.100096
Polskaya, N., & Vlasova, N. (2015). Self-destructive behavior in adolescence and youth. Counseling Psychology and Psychotherapy, 23(4), 176–190.
https://doi.org/10.17759/cpp.2015230411
Rossetto, A., Jorm, A. F., & Reavley, N. J. (2018). Developing a model of help giving towards people with a mental health problem: a qualitative study of Mental Health First Aid participants. International Journal of Mental Health Systems, 12(1).
https://doi.org/10.1186/s13033-018-0228-9
Town, R., Hayes, D., March, A., Fonagy, P., & Stapley, E. (2023). Self-management, self-care, and self-help in adolescents with emotional problems: a scoping review. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 33(9), 2929–2956.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-022-02134-z
Wang, J. (2024). The longitudinal relationship between leisure activities and depressive symptoms among older Chinese adults: an autoregressive cross-lagged analysis approach. BMC Public Health, 24(1).
https://doi.org/10.1186/s12889-024-18293-4
Watson, R., Harvey, K., McCabe, C., & Reynolds, S. (2019). Understanding anhedonia: a qualitative study exploring loss of interest and pleasure in adolescent depression. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 29(4), 489–499.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-019-01364-y