How to Be Comfortable Being Alone

One thing I have noticed becoming increasingly common is a growing dependence on other people. At the time of writing this, the holiday season has just ended. While this season is meant to be spent with friends and loved ones, it can be especially difficult for those who find themselves celebrating it alone. During these moments, mental health can begin to suffer as people start to believe that something is wrong with them or lose hope that they will ever form meaningful relationships. Loneliness is painful, but it is also a universal experience that everyone will face at some point in life. Friendships change, relationships end, and loved ones may be lost, leaving you to face situations alone that were once shared with someone else. Many people find the pressure of being alone difficult to handle, which may lead them to stay in toxic friendships, fall into self-pity, or pursue loveless relationships just to avoid loneliness. This is why learning to feel comfortable with independence is so important. Relying on another person for your happiness is not healthy and does little to prepare you for going through life on your own. This blog post will explore ways to protect your mental health during periods of solitude and how to use time alone as an opportunity for growth and self-development.

Changing Your Perspective

If you ever find yourself feeling lonely, shifting your mindset can be a healthy and powerful first step. Being alone often feels much harder when it is paired with negative thinking. Persistent thoughts about missing someone’s company or believing that no one wants to spend time with you can intensify emotional pain and cause loneliness to linger. Research by Rodriguez et al. (2025) found that individuals who held negative beliefs about being alone experienced greater loneliness during their time by themselves in daily life. In contrast, those with more positive outlooks were better able to cope and even thrive while alone. When you begin to change your perspective, time alone can feel less like something to endure and more like an opportunity for reflection and growth. Solitude can provide quiet space to slow down, process your thoughts, and reconnect with yourself. It can also offer distance from stressful relationships, allowing for clearer thinking without outside pressure or distractions. Time alone may also encourage you to explore new hobbies, strengthen existing skills, or try activities you may not have previously considered. Most importantly, being by yourself does not need to center on what is missing. Practicing gratitude for what you do have can help transform solitude into a meaningful and fulfilling experience.

Do Things You Love

Being alone should not prevent you from doing the things you enjoy. Even when no one is available to join you, you still have the freedom to travel, participate in activities, and create positive experiences on your own. Doing things independently can lead to new perspectives and allow you to move through the world at your own pace while building confidence in your ability to rely on yourself. Many activities that are commonly viewed as social, such as eating at a restaurant, attending a concert, or playing sports, can still be enjoyable alone if the activity itself brings you fulfillment. In daily life, McVarnock et al. (2023) recommend engaging in structured and enjoyable activities while alone to support psychological well being. Their research suggests that remaining inactive while alone can increase distress and feelings of loneliness, whereas participating in active leisure activities such as hobbies, games, or creative outlets can reduce psychological distress and increase satisfaction with solitude. Even small additions, like playing music, listening to podcasts, or watching videos in the background, can improve your mood, keep your mind engaged, and make time alone feel more comforting.

Protect Mindfulness

If you’re by yourself and the only voice you hear for a while is your own, it becomes especially important that this voice is supportive, confident, and encouraging. As discussed earlier, mindset often determines whether time alone feels peaceful or lonely. But how can you strengthen your mind? Like building physical strength, it requires consistency and repetition of healthy habits. Research by Muraven (2010) emphasizes the importance of developing self discipline, noting that it helps people remain productive during periods of solitude by keeping their attention focused on goals, personal growth, and long term improvement. This sense of direction can be especially motivating during periods of loneliness. Muraven suggests starting with small, manageable changes, such as resisting minor daily temptations. Examples include reducing excessive phone use or making more mindful choices around food. Over time, these small efforts can build momentum and lead to more disciplined habits, such as exercising regularly, cooking more meals at home, or making more time to connect with family and friends. Participants in Muraven’s study who practiced these habits consistently showed higher levels of self control and were better able to thrive on their own because of their growing independence and confidence. It is also important to avoid comparing your life to others, particularly on social media. Constant exposure to images of parties, gatherings, and social events can easily create feelings of exclusion and intensify loneliness. By focusing on activities that genuinely interest you and investing in your own growth, you can create a fulfilling and engaging life, whether you are sharing it with others or enjoying it on your own.

Socialize

While independence and comfort with solitude are important, humans are still social beings, and meaningful connection plays a vital role in overall well being. Research by Sullivan et al. (2022) found that simply being around other people can enhance social motivation and provide a sense of comfort, even during periods of solitude. If you find yourself alone and away from friends or family, this may be an opportunity to meet new people. More often than not, there are usually people who have personalities you will get along with. You just have to put yourself in a position to meet these people. Engaging in group activities or hobbies can make socializing feel more natural, as shared interests provide an easy starting point for conversation. Even interacting with others online through shared interests can create a sense of belonging and community. During times of emotional distress, mental health crisis lines are also available around the clock to provide support and guidance. There may be moments when it feels as though you are entirely alone, but support can come from many places, including friends, family members, or even unfamiliar individuals who offer understanding. What matters most is learning to value both your independence and the connections you do have, allowing you to feel grounded whether you are alone or with others.

References

McVarnock, A., Coplan, R. J., White, H. I., & Bowker, J. C. (2023). Looking beyond time alone: An examination of solitary activities in emerging adulthood. Journal of Personality.
https://doi.org/10.1111/jopy.12905

‌Muraven, M. (2010). Building self-control strength: Practicing self-control leads to improved self-control performance. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46(2), 465–468.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2009.12.011

‌Rodriguez, M., Schertz, K. E., & Kross, E. (2025). How people think about being alone shapes their experience of loneliness. Journal of Personality. Nature Communications, 16(1).
https://doi.org/10.1038/s41467-025-56764-3

Sullivan, N. J., Li, R., & Huettel, S. A. (2022). Peer presence increases the prosocial behavior of adolescents by speeding the evaluation of outcomes for others. Scientific Reports, 12(1).
https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-022-10115-0