Getting to Know Your Therapist: A Conversation with Ian Wine

Starting therapy can feel unfamiliar, and sometimes even intimidating. You may wonder what therapists really like, how they approach their work, and what therapy actually involves.

To make this process feel a little more approachable, we sat down with Ian Wine, a registered social worker and Owner/Operator of Recalibrate Therapeutic Services, to talk about his journey into the field, his approach to working with clients, and what people can expect from therapy.

With 26 years of experience in the field and building his own practice, Ian brings both clinical insight and leadership into his work with clients.

Kathy: Hi, Ian!

Ian: Hello Kathy!

Kathy: Our first question for today is: Why did you become a therapist?

Ian: I really wanted the opportunity to support people who have experienced challenges in life.

I think that’s a normal part of living, and most of us have different challenges that we handle in different ways. There are always challenges as we go through life.

Kathy: That makes a lot of sense. Was there a specific moment or experience that confirmed this path for you?

Ian: Yes. When I was doing my BSW, I always thought I wanted to do well. It wasn’t until I got my marks that I felt this was the path for me.

I also had the opportunity to practice with real people who came in as part of the class and played the role of clients. Working with them made me think, wow, this is fascinating.

It wasn’t about fixing or solving all their issues, but learning how to engage with people and understand what they’re trying to communicate.

That was the moment when I realized this was the right path for me.

Kathy: Those role-play courses are really helpful. Was there ever a moment when you questioned or doubted your choice to pursue this path?

Ian: Yes, I would say there was. After I graduated, I was looking for a job in the community, and I wasn’t thinking about having a private practice at the time. I didn’t even know that was an option.

I remember working with families at Jewish Family and Child Service, and they would say to me, “If you're not married, how do you know what married couples are going through?”

I went to my supervisor because I didn’t know what to say. They were right—it made me question myself.

But I learned that you don’t need to have lived the exact same experience to support someone. You don’t have to be in their shoes to be helpful.

That was a really important lesson for me.

Kathy: Now that you’ve been in this field for a while, how do you know your therapeutic style is effective?

Ian: I try to be genuine and down to earth. You can have all the training in the world, but you have to be able to have empathy.

You have to feel what someone may be experiencing and support them in their most vulnerable moments.

You’re not there to direct them—you’re there to guide them. It’s my job to help them understand what they’re experiencing and allow them to share that.

That’s not only them being vulnerable, but also them being the owner of their own journey.

Kathy: I agree—giving people space to talk is really important. How flexible is your therapeutic style depending on the person you're working with?

Ian: I think it’s very flexible—it has to be.

There are going to be times when the client looks at you like, “What are you talking about?” So you always need to have that awareness of where the client is at.

That can change from session to session, and even within a single session. We experience a range of emotions, and that’s part of being human.

So regardless of the approach, you have to be present and accommodating.

Even small things matter—like whether someone would want you to hand them a Kleenex, or if they prefer to reach for it themselves.

Kathy: That’s something people don’t always think about.

Ian: Exactly. Even in my office, I don’t tell clients where to sit. I give them options so they can choose what feels most comfortable.

Kathy: How do you balance being supportive while also challenging clients?

Ian: I’m quite comfortable doing that. I think you have to learn how to put things on the table and explore them.

What was that like? How did you feel about that? When did you realize something might not have been helpful?

What I might think is concerning; the client may not—and vice versa. So, I always try to understand their perspective.

I don’t make assumptions. It’s a lot of exploration.

Kathy: When challenging clients, some may come across as uncooperative. What does that usually look like, and how do you respond?

Ian: I would use the word “resistant.” It usually means they’re not comfortable or not ready yet.

Everyone has their own timeline, just like with grief—it doesn’t happen all at once.

So, it’s really about understanding where the client is at and where they want to be.

Kathy: That makes sense. How do you work with clients who feel stuck but want to change?

Ian: That’s often easier than when someone isn’t sure if they want change at all.

We might use approaches like solution-focused therapy or motivational interviewing to understand where they are in the process.

People don’t change just because someone tells them to.

Even people who want change can feel afraid. What’s familiar often feels safer than the unknown.

So, I might ask questions like, "What are your reservations?” or “What might feel difficult to manage?”

That helps us understand what’s getting in the way.

Kathy: If someone has never been to therapy before, how do you build a relationship in the first few sessions?

Ian: I focus on them—why they’re here and what they need to feel comfortable.

The first session is more goal oriented. It’s about helping them feel safe and informed.

Sometimes that includes practical questions—like what happens between sessions or how things work.

And even small things matter—like nodding, or saying “I hear you” or “Can you tell me more?”

That can make a big difference for someone who needs to talk about their experiences.

Kathy: In what ways do you think therapy is beneficial, especially for someone new?

Ian: It gives people a space for human connection that isn’t based on friendship.

It’s about being present and helpful.

We’re not there to simply compliment people, but we can acknowledge what they’re going through and validate their experiences.

Kathy: What kinds of changes do clients often notice first?

Ian: Some people begin to feel more confident.

They may notice they think and feel different about their situation.

When a client says, “Last session I felt this way, and now I feel different,” I like to explore that—what changed, and what helped.

Kathy: What would you say to someone who is thinking about starting therapy but feels unsure?

Ian: I would say that’s completely understandable.

You’re not going to be forced to talk about anything you’re not ready for. We take things at your pace.

We might explore what’s behind that hesitation, but nothing is forced.

Kathy: That sounds like a lot of empathy, validation, and normalizing.

Ian: Yeah, very much.

Kathy: Thank you so much for your time today.

Ian: My pleasure!

Therapy isn’t about having everything figured out. It’s about having a space where you can be heard, understood, and supported at your own pace.

If you’ve been thinking about starting therapy, it’s okay to feel unsure. Taking that first step can begin with simply being curious.